“Lord, please give me asthma…”
That was a prayer I prayed many times over when I was in high school.
Asthma? Are you serious?
Yes I am, and for every time that I made that request to God, I meant it with the whole of my heart.
In my school, I knew a number of asthmatic students. It wasn’t a funny scene whenever they had a crisis. I witnessed many times how they gasped for breath, couldn’t eat certain foods or be in certain environments because of their health condition. I once missed a chemistry test because I had to take care of a friend who was having a crisis. These people were not enjoying their lives as they should, but that was the exact condition I was desperately praying for.
I’ll tell you why…
I craved for the love, sympathy and attention they got day in, day out. Most of the time, I felt love-starved, so I honestly thought that being asthmatic would at least fill my love tank.
As if praying for asthma was not enough, I had a skill of making myself fall ill and was sort of addicted to it. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t know a way out. That was the only way I thought I could receive love. Whenever I needed attention, I would simply switch to the sick-mode.
So did God answer my prayer?
Yes He did, but He didn’t give me asthma.
I still remain grateful to God for not letting me have asthma. I’m glad He knew my heart and saw beyond what my lips were saying. God knows that sometimes what we really pray for, is not what we mean to get. In essence, God saw that the need was to receive love and not receive asthma.
God began to help me understand that I am already loved, and He helped me receive the love. I became secure in His love for me. I stopped struggling to be what I already am – loved!
Although it’s in the core of every human being to crave feelings of love, value and appreciation, there are many wrong ways to go about it. It’s good news that, you don’t have to play the victim to be noticed.
Like I used to do, you don’t have to fall ill or act up to be loved. Don’t struggle to be loved, you already are. You know, it’s very frustrating looking for something you already have in your hands. Wake up to the reality that you are delightfully loved.
And this hope is not a disappointing fantasy, because we can now experience the endless love of God cascading into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who lives in us!
Romans 5:5 TPT
All you have to do is simply open your heart to receive the love the Father is lavishing on you. It’s time to explore all of its dimensions. You can’t even round up enough containers to hold in the love He generously gives.
Begin today by pondering on God’s unconditional love for you and His promise never to leave you!
Love always, Gem❤️